Does anyone see the resemblance?

Mac Tonight was a mascot introduced by McDonald's restaurants in 1986. He was killed off almost immediately afterwards. If only the poker world could be so lucky.

Thanks to the joy of TV editing, Andy Bloch comes off as "Mr. Nice Guy". If that is true, then Brandi Hawbaker is an innocent angel.

AB is a grade-A, prime choice, 5 star asshole. His sole purpose in his poker life appears to be to bitch and complain. He actively tries to find fault in everything.

Another real high class guy is Arnold Spee. The details as to why are irrelavent, but in a nutshell, if as a poker player, the only thing you can say is (paraphrasing) "These things get more and more fucked up every year...it's such a joke", then I have one simple question: "Why in the crystal blue fuck do you still play?"

If I got kicked in the nertz everytime I walked down Main Street, USA, it wouldn't take long for me to learn a detour. I don't think it takes much of a brain pan to figure this out. Corky from "Life Goes On" could decypher this little puzzle.

Again, I am no expert. I don't have a diploma from MIT. I didn't quit my job in marketting to contemplate being a police detective. I do have a bachelors degree, and a doctorate's degree. But seriously, is it really needed to know that I'm gonna get racked if I walk that street again?

Likewise, if every tourney you play in gets worse and worse every year, and you, by default, bitch about it more and more each year....I say again, "Why in the crystal blue fuck to you still play?"

Where do I begin?!?

I haven't written anything for over a year for a few reasons. 1) I only did the original blog b/c a friend said I should do it, and thought it would be cool for my first year in the "glamorous" life of a WSOP dealer. Pfft. 2) It actually was pretty fun to tell my stories as a redneck dealer from Nowhere, Kansas, dealing to all the big names, but the fun and originality went away very quickly, and 3) I sorta started only dealing for the WSOP now and again. Hence, no stories from 2006. I mean, I can only call out KFL so many times before it's old news.

Enter 2007 WSOP season. The powers that be have given me a "promotion". Shit rolls downhill, and I am no longer at the very bottom of the hill. I have moved up 3 feet. I am now a floor. My specific title is "assistant tournament supervisor". Yawn.

As a dealer, you catch a looooooooooooooooot of shit - period. Either you can't do it the right way (in the players' eyes) or you are to blame for any and all 2 outers etc. This is what fueled my fire in the past. Players would attempt to tell me "how to do " and I would just say "Hey, how about this: You play, I will deal" or something like that. Not to sound cocky, but I know how to split a pot, make change, etc. I can do it as fast as possible, so I can get as many hands out as possible, to (at least attempt to) get as many tips as possible. Honestly, it's not fucking rocket science. There ARE bad...no SHITTY dealers out there. I don't understand how anyone can suck at dealing......but whatever.

Oh my lord. I have reached a whole new level of "what the fuck" now.

My first day (actually Day 2 of the WSOP) was the 1500 NL tourney. "Only" 3000 people entered. It was a clusterfuck. Registration was backed up for hours, American Card Company (or whatever the fuck the company's name is) provided 16,500 set ups (33k decks total) for the entire WSOP - and they were the worst things I've ever seen, alternates were not put in 10 at a time (so at least the chip stacks were even for their table) etc. For the latter, this was done solely to speed up the process of getting the alternates in.

I will start by saying - I pretty much loathe Harrah's (or any big monopolizing corporation) and should be hit in the nutz with a ball peen hammer for defending them, but I am gonna do just that.

I passed a guy in the hallway who said "Can harrah's fuck this up any more" during the start of the 1500 NL event. I just looked at him and said "what, you think you could do any better?" He obv, replied with "yes". I offered to get him an application. He shut up.

Lookit, here's the deal. Just because you play poker now and again with your sodomite friends, or have railbirded the Sunday Million Tourney on Stars, does NOT make you an expert or even give you the right to have an opinion. I am certainly no expert, and never claim to be - if you think that I AM calling myself an expert, then you can't read - so go blow. If you in fact ARE some poker guru, and think you know the 'lifestyle', wouldn't it be reasonable to think you would KNOW that the first day of the WSOP is always packed, and you should preregister? DING DING DING. OF COURSE IT DOES. You didn't, so you aren't, so shut the everloving fuck up.

Harrah's actually handled that massive 1 day field VERY well. And I am not saying that b/c I am now a floor. I had NOTHING to do with it. Could it have been better...obv. But in the grand scheme of things......it went as good...no better...than expected.

What else........OH! How about the p5's (or maybe it was 2p2) thread that talked about how Harrah's "forbade" the dealers from doing a simple 2-3 second wash between hands?!?!

I can't find the link right now, but here it is in a nutshell:

Thread starter: "harrah's doesn't want the dealers to do a 2-3 wash between hands now, b/c it takes up too much time, and cuts into their profits of raking the hands"

followed by 2,309,490,209348209341089234 internet poker experts (now known as IPEs) agreeing with the original thread starter. I mean, if someone starts a thread, they OBVIOUSLY know what they are talking about, and this gives the IPEs something to agreeably bitch about, even though these same IPEs don't even know how to wipe their own asses. It's actually amusing. The thread starter can't wipe his own ass either.

Poker dealing 101. After the hand, do a quick single swipe of the cards, gather 'em up, shuffle shuffle riffle shuffle....deal. End of story. Poker dealers are NOT supposed to do an exaggerated wash. Players who are getting cold decked or whatever, ask for it ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time, and as a courtesy, the dealer does it. Technically, this is favoring that player, and thus improper. Harrah's simply wanted to put a stop to it. It had nothing to do with losing time/rake $$. It's no different than if a player said, do an extra shuffle (shuffle shuffle shuffle riffle shuffle). Dealers won't do that, because it's not the procedure. IF a dealer DID do that....the other players would erupt! The extra (long) wash is the same thing. It is NOT the correct procedure. So here's another big fat 'go fuck yourself' to the thread starter, and all his minionesque IPEs.

Seriously, I am amazed at why some people even think it's a good idea for them to open their mouths.

Although I doubt many people read this inane blog 2 years ago, and even fewer will be reading it this time around...there will be more :)