wsop-dealer

Does anyone see the resemblance?

2007-06-04T21:12:00.000-07:00

Mac Tonight was a mascot introduced by McDonald's restaurants in 1986. He was killed off almost immediately afterwards. If only the poker world could be so lucky.

Thanks to the joy of TV editing, Andy Bloch comes off as "Mr. Nice Guy". If that is true, then Brandi Hawbaker is an innocent angel.

AB is a grade-A, prime choice, 5 star asshole. His sole purpose in his poker life appears to be to bitch and complain. He actively tries to find fault in everything.

Another real high class guy is Arnold Spee. The details as to why are irrelavent, but in a nutshell, if as a poker player, the only thing you can say is (paraphrasing) "These things get more and more fucked up every year...it's such a joke", then I have one simple question: "Why in the crystal blue fuck do you still play?"

If I got kicked in the nertz everytime I walked down Main Street, USA, it wouldn't take long for me to learn a detour. I don't think it takes much of a brain pan to figure this out. Corky from "Life Goes On" could decypher this little puzzle.

Again, I am no expert. I don't have a diploma from MIT. I didn't quit my job in marketting to contemplate being a police detective. I do have a bachelors degree, and a doctorate's degree. But seriously, is it really needed to know that I'm gonna get racked if I walk that street again?

Likewise, if every tourney you play in gets worse and worse every year, and you, by default, bitch about it more and more each year....I say again, "Why in the crystal blue fuck to you still play?"

Where do I begin?!?

2007-06-04T20:08:00.000-07:00

I haven't written anything for over a year for a few reasons. 1) I only did the original blog b/c a friend said I should do it, and thought it would be cool for my first year in the "glamorous" life of a WSOP dealer. Pfft. 2) It actually was pretty fun to tell my stories as a redneck dealer from Nowhere, Kansas, dealing to all the big names, but the fun and originality went away very quickly, and 3) I sorta started only dealing for the WSOP now and again. Hence, no stories from 2006. I mean, I can only call out KFL so many times before it's old news.

Enter 2007 WSOP season. The powers that be have given me a "promotion". Shit rolls downhill, and I am no longer at the very bottom of the hill. I have moved up 3 feet. I am now a floor. My specific title is "assistant tournament supervisor". Yawn.

As a dealer, you catch a looooooooooooooooot of shit - period. Either you can't do it the right way (in the players' eyes) or you are to blame for any and all 2 outers etc. This is what fueled my fire in the past. Players would attempt to tell me "how to do " and I would just say "Hey, how about this: You play, I will deal" or something like that. Not to sound cocky, but I know how to split a pot, make change, etc. I can do it as fast as possible, so I can get as many hands out as possible, to (at least attempt to) get as many tips as possible. Honestly, it's not fucking rocket science. There ARE bad...no SHITTY dealers out there. I don't understand how anyone can suck at dealing......but whatever.

Oh my lord. I have reached a whole new level of "what the fuck" now.

My first day (actually Day 2 of the WSOP) was the 1500 NL tourney. "Only" 3000 people entered. It was a clusterfuck. Registration was backed up for hours, American Card Company (or whatever the fuck the company's name is) provided 16,500 set ups (33k decks total) for the entire WSOP - and they were the worst things I've ever seen, alternates were not put in 10 at a time (so at least the chip stacks were even for their table) etc. For the latter, this was done solely to speed up the process of getting the alternates in.

I will start by saying - I pretty much loathe Harrah's (or any big monopolizing corporation) and should be hit in the nutz with a ball peen hammer for defending them, but I am gonna do just that.

I passed a guy in the hallway who said "Can harrah's fuck this up any more" during the start of the 1500 NL event. I just looked at him and said "what, you think you could do any better?" He obv, replied with "yes". I offered to get him an application. He shut up.

Lookit, here's the deal. Just because you play poker now and again with your sodomite friends, or have railbirded the Sunday Million Tourney on Stars, does NOT make you an expert or even give you the right to have an opinion. I am certainly no expert, and never claim to be - if you think that I AM calling myself an expert, then you can't read - so go blow. If you in fact ARE some poker guru, and think you know the 'lifestyle', wouldn't it be reasonable to think you would KNOW that the first day of the WSOP is always packed, and you should preregister? DING DING DING. OF COURSE IT DOES. You didn't, so you aren't, so shut the everloving fuck up.

Harrah's actually handled that massive 1 day field VERY well. And I am not saying that b/c I am now a floor. I had NOTHING to do with it. Could it have been better...obv. But in the grand scheme of things......it went as good...no better...than expected.

What else........OH! How about the p5's (or maybe it was 2p2) thread that talked about how Harrah's "forbade" the dealers from doing a simple 2-3 second wash between hands?!?!

I can't find the link right now, but here it is in a nutshell:

Thread starter: "harrah's doesn't want the dealers to do a 2-3 wash between hands now, b/c it takes up too much time, and cuts into their profits of raking the hands"

followed by 2,309,490,209348209341089234 internet poker experts (now known as IPEs) agreeing with the original thread starter. I mean, if someone starts a thread, they OBVIOUSLY know what they are talking about, and this gives the IPEs something to agreeably bitch about, even though these same IPEs don't even know how to wipe their own asses. It's actually amusing. The thread starter can't wipe his own ass either.

Poker dealing 101. After the hand, do a quick single swipe of the cards, gather 'em up, shuffle shuffle riffle shuffle....deal. End of story. Poker dealers are NOT supposed to do an exaggerated wash. Players who are getting cold decked or whatever, ask for it ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL the time, and as a courtesy, the dealer does it. Technically, this is favoring that player, and thus improper. Harrah's simply wanted to put a stop to it. It had nothing to do with losing time/rake $$. It's no different than if a player said, do an extra shuffle (shuffle shuffle shuffle riffle shuffle). Dealers won't do that, because it's not the procedure. IF a dealer DID do that....the other players would erupt! The extra (long) wash is the same thing. It is NOT the correct procedure. So here's another big fat 'go fuck yourself' to the thread starter, and all his minionesque IPEs.

Seriously, I am amazed at why some people even think it's a good idea for them to open their mouths.

Although I doubt many people read this inane blog 2 years ago, and even fewer will be reading it this time around...there will be more :)

kcpoker.net has bit the dust

2006-05-16T22:37:00.000-07:00

i know, shocking, but its over johnny. nobody ever went there, and that includes me, and i owned it.

Done for a while

2005-09-04T23:05:00.000-07:00

Well, aside from the few spammers, the few anti's and the few pro's, I doubt many people will miss my blogs. More than likely, I am just gonna stay local and work, at least until the WPO (or whatever they end up calling it now) in January. At which time I will grace Tunica with my presence again. For you diehards who just NEED to read stories...check out www.kcpoker.net. It is a small site at the moment, and mostly just a bunch of fellow hayseeds from Kansas City, but there are some good stories there from time to time, as well as other poker info.

2005-09-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

I ran across a link/blog of someone who said "Wow, I just found an abandoned WSOP dealer blog. Vitriol Extraordinaire!I'm having a hard time picking out just one paragraph to quote.Geezus, go enjoy the ranting, especially the one about Kathy Fucking Leibert. This is one bitter dealer! WSOP Dealer" and "For the record, he also calls Sam Farha a cocksucker and Joseph Hachem a fucking wanker. Many times"

Not really sure how to respond to this guy....other than he didn't read the REASON why I said those things "many times" (that being, to try and actually get search engine hits, by repeating key phrases). Also, I am not bitter at all. My buddy wanted me to write a blog about my 'adventures'. Fair enough - I did. On the bright side, he DID say to 'go enjoy the ranting'...so overall, he DOES understand the overall concept. For that, I thank him :) As for the ranting itself...who in the hell would want to read about sugar and spice and everything nice? I had NUMEROUS positive tidbits of accounts. But who cares? As soon as I write something to the affect of "Katrina Jett is AWESOME (and hot) to deal to...I thoroughly enjoyed everytime she was on my table", I would get hammered by anti Katrina Jett people. You can't please all of the people all of the time, nor do I care to. Good stories require conflict and/or animosity.
My personal beliefs/feeling of these people are just that...MINE! This is MY blog and I will write whatever the hell I want. Agree or disagree...I don't care! I did not, nor will ever, embellish my thoughts or stories with fiction, but I damn sure will express my stories with what literary skills (good or bad - mostly bad) that I have. TuckerMax.com and Maddox.xmission.com are two sites that I tried to emulate. No, by comparison, my writings do not even come CLOSE to EITHER of those two guys! They blow my shit away - hands down. But their sites are awesome sites, with millions of hits a week. Why? Because their opinions and stories are GOOD! I just try to entertain, and voice my opinion.

Tunica

2005-09-04T14:21:00.000-07:00

Not much to say here. The tournament, as a whole, was very unexciting. There were a few big names, but only for the main event, which had 179 people total...mostly locals who got in via satellites. It was overall, a fun 17 days of laid back 'good ol poker'.

It's all over...Joseph Hachem is a wanker

2005-07-21T14:05:00.000-07:00

Alrighty then...it's all over! For now. Fret not, oh loyal reader of the forum...for I have been asked to 'deal the circuit'. Apparently my skills as a dealer are better than the average bear's. Not that it takes much. The next event is in Tunica, Miss. starting around August 7th. More to come...

As for the WSOP....all I can say is, it was an experience. I am displeased in the main event, to say the least. Ironically tho, I am not displeased with Harrah's, Binion's, The Rio, the incompetence of my bosses, or there bosses, etc. No. For once, they did a good job - as far as the main event goes. I am displeased, oh fuck that...I am pissed/appauled/AMAZED at the fucking players.

7 of the final 10 players (9 of which became millionaires), managed to drop a combined ZERO dollars in tips, for the dealers. Roughly 25 MILLION of the 56 million total purse, went to these 10 philanthropists. 7 managed a big fat fucking goose egg. That Aussie fuck Joseph Hachem, who brought in 7.5M and left nada. This guy seemed really cool the whole time I was involved with him. I dealt to him two separate days of the main event alone, but I am talking more about his interviews on cardplayer.com. He seemed like an okay guy. I am a graduate of Cleveland Chiropractic College, and am currently in the process of taking my national boards. I say this only because as it turns out, Joseph Hachem is a former chiropractor (although in australia, I think you come out of the womb as a second trimester chiropractic student) so I was even more happy for 'the lad'. Fucking wanker is more like it. He didn't leave shit. So for the purpose of hitting the search engines (a la Sam Farha is a cocksucker), I will repeat:

Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker! Joseph Hachem is a fucking wanker!

Joseph Hachem, if you happen to get this link sent to you from one of your fellow "Shirleys", don't think I am putting the onus solely on you. There are at least 6 others that rank just below the corn in my shit. You just happen to win the most, making your lack of gratuity worse than anyone elses. Fuck You!

Any of you other Keeblers Corn Nibblet wanna-bes that happen to read this (I know..I have less chance of winning the WSOP than any of you seeing this, by a factor of 1 billion) feel free to comment - preferrably to ask where to send a generous tip to. I will make sure it gets evenly distributed among ALL the 350+ dealers who worked 40 some odd days STRAIGHT, 10 hours a day, to make sure everyone who participated in ANY of the WSOP events, had the time of their lives! Otherwise, I hope the express train to hell drops you off directly in the sodomite section. I can't think of anything more appropriate for your final resting place, than you spending your fiery eternity with a trident shoved up your a$$.

KFL cont., Scott Fishbait, and Dutch, The Thief, Boyd

2005-07-08T21:51:00.000-07:00

Gonna just cram in a few things here....

The first round of the main event has almost 5600 players in it. Each of the first three days, roughly 2000 start, and 1350 bust out. Two days into round 1 of the main event - almost 4000 players so far, and I have only had 1 (out of roughly 2700) go bust on my table. You guessed it. I knocked out Kathy Fucking Liebert. I smiled from ear to ear. She had on that same goddamn velvet sweat suit, and was wearing her fucking fanny pack. Rounds are 140 minutes long, and start with 25 and 50 blinds. It is round 2 (50/100 blinds) and poor nasty KFL is down to about 3k or so in chips. She is in the big blind (100) and there are 5 limpers already in, preflop. She raises to 600. Everyone folds, except one guy. Flop comes....Q, 5, ?. KFL bets 1400. D00d calls. Turn is a 3. KFL goes all in for 2500 more and d00d calls. Cards are flipped over. KFL has A3 spades, and d00d has 56 off suit. River was a rag. Exit stage left for KFL. YEEEEEEHAWWWWWWW!

Now, if I can only knock out Scott Fishman, this trip will all be worth it. I knocked him out of the $10,000 PL Omaha tourney, which was justice enough, but one more time will seal the deal.

Scott Fishman is the complete package. He is the head of a dick, he is the shaft of a dick, he is a pair of nasty balls that hang under a dick. Again, he is the complete package. This KID stands at a stellar 5-foot nothing, and weighs about a buck-0-five. He is an ex Bellagio dealer who used to live off of tokes (tokes are tips, for you who don't know what that is, or how to do it). This collosal douchebag goes out of his way to tell people NOT to tip. This little prick goes out of his way to make an asshole out of himself. He can kiss my ass - right down where it's pink. I can't stress how much I despise this twerp. Fuck him and his 'crew'. If I could, I would piss in his 'fish tank'.

Russ Boyd...aka Dutch Boyd. Russ is his real name, but after scamming thousands of people out of 100s of 1000s of dollars on a long extinct poker site, he changed his name to Dutch - boy..you fooled us there, Dutch. I dealt to this scumbag a sometime last week. All he did was do simple little chip tricks the entire time I was there. He never said a word. Probably for fear of getting my size 13 shoe crammed into his lying mouth. Fuck him too. As a matter of fact - fuck anyone related to these people, the 'crew' and any relatives therein. Fuck the lot of 'em.

Chris Jesus Ferguson escapes an early exit

2005-07-08T00:33:00.000-07:00

First of all, Chris Ferguson seems like a pretty good Joe. I have dealt to him several times throughout the tourney. He never turns away a fan, never doesn't sign his autograph, and never won't take a pic with someone. For that, I can appreciate him. I have heard some rumors about a couple of things he MIGHT have said, as far as tipping the dealers go...but I will touch on that in my next post. For now, just want to fill you in on a hand that happened today.

The scene: Day 1A (the first 2000 players..to get whittled down to 650). It was fucking PACKED today. 200 tables in the room...all full, for ONE tourney. This is the first THIRD of the field. It was sheer chaos. Quite exhilerating to be a part of tho. For every player, there was at least one spectator! Unreal atmosphere....

Anyhow....back to CJF. I didn't deal the hand - it happened on the table behind me - and the details might be skewed a tad, but basically, it came to this...CJF had AA and some d00d with K9 (not even sure if it was suited or not). I am not sure of the actions that took place, the betting sequence, or any of the sort. About the only thing I am sure of is all the money went in after the flop.

K 9 4 flop. AA vs K9. Turn: blank. River: 4. CJF wins with Aces up.

From my understanding, CJF was shorter stacked and all in. The story and the hand itself, not THAT nuts. I mean, we've all seen it before. But the room went NUTS! I felt like a kid in a candy store just being present at this thing. Better yet...I was in the middle of it all, and not on the sidelines. It really is something any poker player should partake in, sometime during their life.

Oh yea...the first person to go bust did it in the first 5 minutes. There was a big applause from everyone...it was kinda cool.

Tomorrow is GameTime

2005-07-06T22:15:00.000-07:00

Yep...it's finally here. 6 weeks of hell and putting up with shit is finally over. Well, I will still put up with shit I am sure, but at least it will be for the biggie. I wish I could've written more stories, as I had more, but never got around to writing them, and have now forgotten anything that was *probably not* worth writing. I will do my best to post anything good that happens in the main event. I know cardplayer.com and numerous other sites have their video clips and much more coverage and what all...but they don't do justice to what the dealers see on a hand by hand scenario.

Anyhow...thanks to my two 'fans' so far for reading what i've said. I will hopefully get another few good stories.

Kathy Fucking Liebert

2005-07-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

For the entire month of July, I give everyone who happens to see me (I will be in KC for a week or so) permission to tee my n00tz up and kick 'em as hard as you want. How the HELL could I have gone THIS LONG and not dropped a story about Kathy Fucking Liebert *now known as KFL*??

First and foremost, you should all know how much I despise this "woman". I watch poker on TV all the time (we all do) and I CRINGE whenever she is on. They say TV adds 10 pounds to a person. Bullshit! Near as I can tell, it takes at least 20 OFF - at least in the case of KFL.

I dealt to her, briefly, the first week or so I was here. I don't remember what exactly happened, but she was a bitch.....shocker. I dealt to her again last week and she pulled a move that made me see red. It was such horseshit....

This event is limit hold 'em, blinds are 25/50 (it's still early). KFL is in the sb. Everyone fold to the button, who raises. KFL calls. BB folds. Flop comes out (not sure what the flop was, and it is irrelevant anyhow. KFL bets 50 (2 green chips). Button raises by throwing out a blackie (and saying raise, of course). KFL tosses out a blackie of her own...she doesn't say 'call' or 'raise' but EVERYONE knows her intention was to reraise. I say that because she didn't pull back her two greens like a normal person would do who is just calling a raise. Also, she had a ton of greenies to 'just call' with. It is obvious her intention was to reraise. Now, I should say that as a dealer, I probably SHOULD have said "reraise" when KFL plopped the blackie down, but as a dealer, you are damned if you do, and damned if you don't. Players know what the intent is, and the less a dealer talks, the better. Anyhow...the button RERAISES KFL (remember, she tossed a blackie out there, and left the two greenies, which could only be taken as a reraise in and of itself. So when the button said 'reraise (to 200), KFL chimes in with "I just called, you can't reraise me" *At this point, KFL QUICKLY, and conveniently, grabs her two greenies back*

So the floor is called, and technically, in the end, the right call was made. When the floor gets there, KFL takes over in telling the situtation, and reenacting it in her favor (by grabbing the greenies MUCH sooner than what really happened. BULLLLLLSHIT. So the floor determined that KFL threw in an 'overchip' to call the initial raise, and didn't say anything. This constitutes a 'call (only)'. Again, according to poker room rules EVERYWHERE, this was the correct call. Although everyone and their dog knows that KFL was trying to make a move, and got busted. "KFL just called" So the bet is just the $100. Turn was...whatever, KFL checks, button bets, KFL folds. You couldn't've scripted a better 'cheat'. If KFL leaves the 'reraise' out there, and the button folds...hand over, KFL wins....but she got reraised, so she pulled the "I only called" card, and saved $100 tourney chips. Fucking cheater.

More on Kathy. She wears the same outfit everytime I see her. First, let's picture the color. Imagine eating 2 bowls of 3 alarm chili, and washing it down with a 12 pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon. The next day, on the way to a forest, you stop off and grab a paper plate, and a little jar of metallic red paint at a model toy store...you know, those little 1 oz jars? Ok, so jog 1 mile, uphill, carrying a full backpack, and wearing fatigues. Take the paper plate and place it on the ground. Squat over it with your sweaty ass, and shit out the 2 bowls of 3 alarm chili that was washed down with that 12 pack of PBR. Empty out the 1 oz jar of model paint, grab a twig off of a tree, and mix it up. That is the color of this fucking 'sweatsuit' that KFL wears.

But that's not all....the material that this hideous outfit is made of is (drum roll please......................) Velvet. Yes, velvet. Mel Torme would be proud. She also wears a fanny pack. I cannot stress to you how geigh fanny packs are. I wear one at work, but it is required. We have to put our tips SOMEWHERE. I cannot see ANY other reason why anyone would wear one of these fashion faux pas. Maybe for holding a walkman while doing yard work, or working out...but even those are EXTREME maybes.

Not KFL. She wears one everyday. She rests it in front, on top of her FUPA. A FUPA, for those of you not familiar with the acronym, stands for "Fat Upper P*ssy Area" Basically, it's a pooch belly. Hideous, hideous, hideous.

Truthfully, I think NASA coulda saved $332,990,000 dollars, by dipping KFL in the same copper alloy solution they put Han Solo in, in The Empire Strikes Back, and just shot KFL into the Tempel 1 comet. I can guarantee that comet's orbital path would've been changed by more than .000001 mps, or whatever it was. Hell, that thing would've prolly split right in two! But I digress...

So yesterday, again, I get to deal to the Velvet Fog's (that is Mel Torme's nickname) idol. She is sitting directly across from me. I won't even go into her lack-of-wearing-a-bra thing (or at least wearing-a-bra-that-does-her-no-justice thing). The mere sight of this velvet blob made my stomach turn. There was some frenchie in seat 1. Apparently, before I got there, I missed some conversations between KFL and this frog, that had some sort of sexual undertones. Who knows...who cares. But the entire time I am at the table, KFL and the frog keep talking. I think KFL wanted to have a coital affair with the guy. Poor frog. At one point, KFL said something, the frog didn't hear it but the whole table laughed. He asked to be filled in on what he missed, and KFL said "nevermind, we were speaking English anyhow, you wouldn't've understood it." The froggie, kinda under his breath muttered something in french. Now, I took 6 years of french, throughout high school and college, and although it is pretty rusty, I can assure you I heard "fuck" and "shit" in what the guy said. I kid you not, I fucking LAUGHED OUT LOUD, right then and there, in the box, while dealing the next hand. KFL looked at me with an inquisitive leer. It was like looking into the face of Medusa - I froze....still smiling. I just bit my lip and carried on. I apologized for laughing, and finished dealing.

During my time on the table, I pushed KFL a TON of chips. I gave her JJ, JJ, KK, AA and AA. I could kill myself for that, but whattya gonna do? At one point, when I was pushing her a mound of chips, I accidentally touched her hand as she was scooping the chips in. I IMMEDIATELY thought of my childhood days of watching the Superfriends. The good years...when it was the SF vs The Legion of Doom...not the latter years with the wonder twins and their stupid monkey and shit like that. The years with bizarro world, bizarro Superman, etc. If Superman and Bizarro Superman were to have ever touched, they'd both die. Kinda like when dorkass Trekkies talk about matter and antimatter colliding. Anyhow, when I knicked her finger...I thought life as I new it was gonna come shattering to a cataclysmic end. KFL is not THE fattest, nor THE ugliest 'woman' on the planet, nor am I the MOST fit, or BEST loooking guy on the planet. But in the grand scheme of things, I am AS fit as she is fat, and I am as NONUGLY, as she is ugly. We are 'bizarro's' of each other. I just knew I was doomed. Thankfully, I survived. Conversely, and equally UNTHANKFUL, so did she.

Anyhow, before my time was done on the table, the tourney went on break. I again apologized to KFL for busting out laughing. Not because I give a fuck about what SHE thinks about me, no sirree. I did it to remind her, and goad her into asking me why. She bit. I just told her, "well...I speak french" and left it at that, with a big shit eating grin on my face. She was displeased. I was, you guessed it, equally pleased. Bizarro.

L.I.P.S.

2005-07-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

So I dealt the ladies only tourney last week. I gotta tell ya, I was like a kid in a candy store! Over 600 women partook in this poker fiasco. Jennifer Tilly ended up winning the thing, but that's of ill-importance. Did I mention it was ladies only...and there were over 600 of 'em? Mercy. Hotties everywhere! There was, however, a big group of women, all decked out in L.I.P.S. attire. [L]adies [I]nternational [P]oker [S]eries, is what the acronym stands for - although it's really just a bunch of [L]esbians [I]n [P]oker [S]hirts. One of there, what appeared to be, 'spokespersons' was, I kid you not, a Mexican lady named Lupe`. She couldn't've been more the perfect stereotype. She was kinda outspoken *by that I mean, loud-mouth extraordinaire*. She told anyone and everyone about LIPS, who they were, and what they did. Evidently, this gaggle of carpetmunchers travel around and follow the WSOP circuit and 'take over' the women's tourney at each venue. If I were a true lesbian, (not the cliche'd type *you know, a lesbian trapped in a man's body*) I'd've been embarassed.

Anyhow...this was truly one of my funnest days so far. I was pretty sure I'd be in for some seroiusly shitty poker, coupled with constant bickering and nagging. Let's face it 600+ women, in one room, with the free will to speak. I couldn't've been more wrong. It was a BLAST! One table in particular, I could've stayed at all day. Karina Jett was directly across from me, in seat 5. Absolutley stunning! One chick, to her right *seat 4*, who looked like a cross between Al Delveccio (from Happy Days) and Laverne Defazio (sp. from Laverne and Shirley) was a complete riot. Her mom is apparently a taxi drvier in NYC and her cab is seen on Taxicab Confessions a lot. She was telling stories about some of the shit her mom has seen. One scene had something to do with a chick using a breat pump in the cab...all the women, including Karina, chimed in. All the while, I am eavesdropping like no tomorrow :) Karina was hilarious as well. She said the first time someone came up and asked her hubby (Chip Jett) for an autograph...she busted out laughing and had to walk away. Sorry Chip...but that shit is funny!

I only ran across one complete bitch the entire day *granted, I didn't get to meet the entire field, by any means...I am sure there were plenty more*. Overall tho, I had less of an inclination to stick my foot in someones ass during this event, than any other. That says something for the women.

By the way...if you are that incredibly hot chick from Kentucky, that was sitting in seat 10 when I left...(you were about to bust out at that point) if you read this...please contact me :) Pierre Renoir, Claude Monet, Edouard Manet or Paul Cezanne couldn't paint a picture more striking than you!

Jim Rockford's writers couldn't've scripted this any better....

2005-06-25T15:23:00.000-07:00

Finally dealt to the poker brat. Today was actually my second time to do so. The other day, tho, I had John? D'Agastino, M"TM"M (Mike "The Mouth" Matusow), and Phil Helmuth on a table. Nothing REAL exciting as far as shit talking and such going on, however. I guess D'Agastino goes by the "Urbanized" nickname of J-Dags. Blech..whatever..you're white, John - get over it. Anyhow...Phil shows up in his typical style (an hour late) and gets to the table just before I do. 20 minutes into my session on the table, PH is bb. A few people limp in for 50, and he raises to 275. Everyone folds except some d00d, one before the button. This is where I need to explain the subject....

If' you've ever watched The Rockford Files, you'll know what I am talking about. In every episode, there is typically some sort of con going on, and about 40 minutes into the show...just about when you think everything is going to work out for Jim...shit happens and the whole plot does a 180! My old college buddy and I used to call this "Pulling a Rockford" Also, at one point in any given show, Rockford is usually caught up in a car chase, and eventually does a 180 with his car to elude cops, or some thuggish types that are trying to do him harm. This is the second definition of "Pulling a Rockford". But anyhow...back to the hand.

PH is UTG in this situation, and the "Rockford's" are in full effect. Flop comes 4 J 7 rainbow. "Some d00d", who is s'posed to act AFTER PH, starts checking, and PH, who was just about to check (so he can check/raise) sees this and pauses for a second, and bets. Some d00d calls quickly. Rockford's are being pulled left and right. These two are playing each other like fiddles already, and I am the only one who sees it *as I am the only one paying attention*. Granted, I have no idea who is the Devil, and who is 'Johnny' from Georgia at this point...but the rosin is flying off the bows!

The devil opened up his case and he said, "I'll start this show." And fire flew from his fingertipsas he rosined up his bow. And he pulled the bow across the strings and it made an evil hiss. Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded somethin' like this: aka Phil Bets.

Some d00d quickly calls.

Turn = rag. PH goes all in.

When PH finished, Some d00d said, "Well, you're pretty good, old son, but sit down in that chair right there and let me show you how it's done. aka Some d00d calls quickly.

River = blank.

PH (devil) = AJ os.
Some d00d (Johnny) = pocket 7s...set.

PH bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat. And he laid that golden fiddle on the ground at Some d00d's feet. Some d00d said, "PH, just come on back if you ever want to try again. 'Cause I told you once, you son of a BITCH, I'm the best that's ever been."

So PH exits, stage left and doesn't throw even the remotest of tantrums. DAMMIT. The table settles down a bit and M"TM"M chimes in with some thoughts on PH. I won't repeat the stuff that was said, but put it this way, the closest thing to a compliment (directed to or about PH) was: "He's a great ambassador to the game"

Surrender..before I put my f00t in your a$$

2005-06-25T15:08:00.000-07:00

Surrender....I don't know his last name offhand, and am too lazy to look it up on the net. He's a fuckwad. Literally, he's a punjabi wad of fuck. The tourney today is Pot Limit Hold 'em. I sit down in the box, after a break, with Antonio Esfandiari to my left, that English lady Maureen something-er-other to his left, a couple of yahoo's, Surrender, Charlie Shoten (I have no idea who this old bird is, but apparently he's at LEAST some sort of local legend...fine..he seems like a good Joe) and more huckleberry's, to finish off the table. Very first hand, the punjabi fuckwad *now known as PFW* is on the button, local legend Charlie Shoten *now known as LLCS* in sb, and some hayseed in bb. Blinds are 25 and 25 at this point (level 1). UTG calls, everyone folds to PFW, who calls. LLCS bets pot, and throw 200 out there. I say "POT". PFW IMMEDIATELY, throws 75 back into LLCS's stack, as if he bet too much. Slightly confused by this, I was like....uhhh, ok, must've been too much. LLCS is engrossed in a convo with a railbird, and didn't seem to mind. Everyone else was pretty much not paying attention anyhow, so I did the flop. LLCS bets pot again, and everyone folded. Surrender was wrong, LLCS bet the right amount, and the fucking towel head saved himself 75 bucks...oh well, noone seemed upset. My bad LLCS, I cost you a few bucks. PFW had some bitching going on while I was waiting to take over the table as well...not sure what it was about. Fucking douchebag. So, the game goes on, and LLCS is still talking to this d00d on the rail. PFW says to me, "Dealer, you gotta stop him from talking". NO SHIT, he said that to me! I looked right at him and said "Why?" with an evil smirk. LMFAO. What a t00l. A few hands later, someone 'bet pot' again, and he tried to say it was too much. I felt it was my job to correct him, so I did it in the most professional manner...by showing him how fucking wrong he was. It gave me great pleasure to deal that dipshit's final hand (knocked him out) before I left. Stupid punjabi wad of fuck.

I got the day off! Boring blog, I know

2005-06-18T13:29:00.000-07:00

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO! I don't have to work today...it is wickedly slow, and because I, again, did not have an assignment, I was sent home! Although I am glad to finally have a day off, I am officially bored shitless. My roommates got the day off as well, and went to play some poker at Wynn. I wished them good luck (my place is in the box, not the seats) and promptly sat my ass in front of the TV. I guess watching Twister on TV will have to do...sigh. In the meantime, here are a couple of stories...

Mike "The Mouth" Matusow

2005-06-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

M"TM"M had me CRACKING up in the box yesterday. His name suits him well! He is very chatty, to say the least. The tourney of the day was $1500 NL shootout. What this means is, as people go out, tables don't combine to keep it 10 handed. Each table of 10 plays, basically, a Single Table Tourney. The last man moves on. Round two starts with the winners and they do it again. The third round, by this time, will consist of 2 short handed tables, that play hand for hand, until there are 10 left, which is the final table. This particular event had, I think, about 1300 people in it? Not really sure. The moderators said something about getting to two tables - 1 of 7 people and 1 of 6 people, so that's how I got that number. IF 1300 started, after round 1 there would be 130 left, after round 2 there'd be 13, leaving a 6-man and 7-man table to play hand for hand until 10 people remain. That's irrelevant really, as this is about M"TM"M, and not the tourney itself :)

I wish to hell I could remember what all he was saying to crack me up! Cardplayer.com was there mic'ing it all, so you can probably get some of his stuff there. He was just fun and funny to listen to. He analyzed shootouts, and informed everyone that you really only have to beat 25 or so people *which logistically, is correct*, he talked about how living the 'poker life' is HARD, and the funniest shit was how he kept describing HIS play. "I am Rocky!" He said that over and over and in various forms. He didn't say it like "Rocky", in its phonetic form, tho. It was more of a drawn out "Rawwwky" He pointed out how the cameras had ruined the bluff, and how he can't seem to win playing his old ways, so now, "He is Rawwky". Again, you really had to be there to laugh WITH him, but trust me, it was amusing. Even as I moved on to the next table, and the table after...I could still here him chime in with "I am the Rawwkiest Rawwk that ever was". Two and three tables later, I am still laughing. It was a nice change to have a fun day at work! M"TM"M gets a thumbs up from me...not that that amounts to jack shit.

Sam Farha Can Suck My n00tz

2005-06-18T12:28:00.000-07:00

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Ok, the reason for the repetition of Sam Farha's name is this...apparently my particular blog, which in all honesty will prolly never be seen by anyone, is now on some 'search engine hit list' of sorts. Sam Farha is a cocksucker, and I want to make sure if anyone Google's his name, there is a chance this particular blog will hit the top 10 list (not sure what the criteria is for a search to hit a particular site, but from some of the things I've learned in a past job, key words are important...and if doing a search for Sam Farha, well, I think I've covered that.)

I have numerous dreams in life...we all do. I dream of a great family, I dream of couple of kids to spoil rotten. I dream of a nice house. I dream of a nice car. I dream on becoming a great *legal* chiropractor someday. I have added a new dream to my list. I dream of the day I can take my old 2 iron (from my *what should be collector's edition* Ping Karsten I irons. These are the FIRST ever set of iron produced by Karsten.) and put it to use. Although I am an avid golfer, and took 16th individualist in state my senior year (sand green division, Kansas. I went to a podunk school), I never had much use for my 2 iron. I couldn't hit that club to save my life. The most action it ever got was to pick balls out of the thickets and water that I had shanked and couldn't quite reach. Anyhow...I'd love to take that 2 iron and hit Sam Farha square in the n00tz as hard as I possible could. Then, as he doubles over in pain, I'd run around to his backside and stick a pneumatic driven, diamond studded umbrella in his ass, turn the air compressor on and open that fucker up. That is my new dream.

I will repeat, Sam Farha is a cocksucker. Probably not in the literal sense, but figuratively speaking. I can't stand that Chris MonkeyFucker either, and used to cringe at the fact that he knocked out Sam Farha for the champeenship. But now, I think MonkeyFucker's winning it is the lesser of two evils. Who knows, maybe I will have the opportunity to deal to that douchebag as well someday and change my mind back, but as it stands now, Sam Farha is a cocksucker, and MonkeyFucker is, well, less of one.

The game was 5 card lowball (2 to 7), with one draw. $400/$800 blinds, $200 ante, No Limit betting. It was 3 handed. That means you are out $1800 each round. Those are some serious stakes! Every hand was raised to $2000-$2500 and at least one of the two called every time. Every pot was in the 15-20 thousand dollar range. Pretty cool to watch/deal, had it not been for that cocksucker Sam Farha. For those who know me personally, I am not good at taking verbal checks from people. I tend to speak my mind. If someone was watching ME during this half hour from hell, they'd've noticed a little trickle of blood running down my chin, from where I was biting my lower lip, in order to prevent me from lambasting that motherfucker with some words of my own. It's really hard to explain the way Sam Farha acts at a table, and it would be a long, arduous and exhausting ordeal for me to try and describe it to you. Not to mention that no amount of written word could convey the emotional status of what a dealer goes through when dealing with Sam Farha. Unfortunately, you will just have to take my word for it when I tell you that Sam Farha is a cocksucker.

Kristy Gazes..ga ga ga goooo

2005-06-17T01:20:00.000-07:00

It's the end of the day. The day that JWH was about to beat some pimp into oblivion. My ass, which started as the equivalent of a 4-cylinder toyota tercel, has been bored out into a 351 Cleveland by now, by my superiors. Needless to say, I am not in a good mood. The night before, my roommate, in the hotel, had some pretty ferocious gas, by the way, and this fact made me more bitter than one could imagine. My goal....RUN to the EDR (employee dining room), suck down a couple of Jethro Bodine size bowls of chili, and catch the bus back to the hotel, before he gets there. The war is ON!

So as I am heading down the half mile trek to the EDR, listening to my cd player in my little fag bag, who do I catch up to? Kristy Gazes (to my IMMEDIATE RIGHT..almost touching me) and her friend, on the opposite side of her. At first, I have no idea wtf is going on, as I am jamming to Godsmack at the time, but I look over at this hottie (the friend), mouthing something to me, as she is waving her hand over her head. At first, I thought she was having some sort of petite mal seizure, but turns out she was trying to ask me something. She wanted to know how tall I was. I told her 6' 1". Little did I know the correct answer woulda been 6' 2". Seems her and Kristy were talking about men, and how Kristy's perfect man is 6' 2". I love my parents to death, but DAMN them for leaving me an inch shy of heaven! Seems Kristy is dating a colostomy bag and isn't very happy about it. She was impressed that I had a 'job' even. LMFAO. I am just a scrub poker dealer.

Anyhow, without the liquid encouragement that comes in 12 oz bottles and is produced in, using my best Jim Rome voice, St. Looo-eeeeeeze, I was like a fish out of water. My poker game is minute best, but when it comes to women, I couldn't get laid in a brothel, during happy hour. Had I just answered 6' 2", though, I think she woulda taken over for me. Guess I will never know.

For those of you who don't know who Kristy Gazes is, put it this way...she's drop dead gorgeous. I've looked for a pic or two on the internet for clarification, and to this point, I've seen the same pic over and over, and it does NOT do her any justice whatsoever. This girl is so striking to the eye. Mercy. Oh well, she is out of my league altogether, but it was nice to peek into the door of her world, even if for a moment.

"Johnny World" Hennigan

2005-06-17T01:02:00.000-07:00

So, I am heading to the break room after another exhausting day of taking the chainsaw up the ass, when lo and behold, I see a fight about to break out in the 'live' section. Not to pass up the only 'action' I will ever see..I immediately dash over to check out wtf is going on. I see some d00d, dressed like a pimp, getting into it with the relatively LARGE individual. I don't mean large in the sense that this guy could tip the scale at a fat man's convention...rather..this d00d is a walking brick wall. Turns out, it is "Johnny World" Hennigan. Can I stress to you enough, the size of this guy? And some Alfalfa has been is starting shit WITH him? It was hilarious. Seems that Alfalfa went up to JWH, while he was minding his own business, on an empty table, eating some grub and asked to 'borrow' 20 bucks. After JWH politely said 'no', Alfalfa (did I mention he was wickedly hammered, for 11 am?) went on a tirade. Long and short of it, security at the Rio, with its, ahem, cat-like reflexes managed to get there 'in the nick of time'. Of course, if you didn't catch the sarcasm, that means that JWH was 99% out the door after saying "let's settle this outside" by that time.

Dammit! I had 30 minutes to kill and it woulda taken JWH about 2.4 seconds to mop up the patio with this guy - leaving me PLENTY of time to go do whatever the fuck it is I do on break.

72 and Toto Leonidas

2005-06-16T23:36:00.000-07:00

Ok, here's the situation. Toto is UTG (under the gun) and raises pf roughly 3 bets. Some Cooter from Dukes of Hazzard wannabe reraises 1 unit *a total of 6 bets, to compliment Totos reraise*. Everyone folds, Toto calls. Now, at this point, I have only been on this table for about 5 hands...but have already figured out that Cooter is an ameteur supreme. He knows how to handle good preflop cards, and plays THEM by the book. However, it is quite evident, that he knows jack shit about playing cards from the flop on. Someone should probably tell him that this is a 7 card game. I mean, just cuz Daisy is wearing short shorts - that doesn't mean she wants to bed YOU. But I digress....

Of the first 5 or so hands, Cooter raises pf 3 of them...and kept firing each time he did...all for wins. Kudos to you Cooter. That shit only works for so long. So anyhow..back to the hand at heart. Flop come rag, K, rag. Toto checks, Cooter bets about 3/4 the pot. Toto calls. Turn is a rag. Cooter bets the pot. Toto beats him in. River is another rag. Again, Toto checks, and Cooter goes all in, putting Toto's tourney at stake. Yes, somehow Cooter had racked up more chips at this point in time, than a Champion like Toto. Anyhow...Toto dwells up for a looooooooooong time. Thinks about it, plays with his cards, thinks about it some more. Two or three minutes go by. He is still thinking about it. Noone..and I mean NOONE asks for a clock. They respect the man for the decision he has to make...and besides, I say this again, this guy is a CHAMPION player.

Now, before I go any further with this story, let me explain the topic of this blog: "72 and Toto Leonidas". For those of you who don't know, I have an undergrad degree in Pre-Medicine, and a Doctorates in Chiropractic. I say this NOT for a resume` builder, or to impress anyone. I say this simply to let you know that, because of my education (not that what I am about to say is sacred knowledge or couldn't be revealed through a 2 second google search) I can tell you for a fact, that the average human heart pumps 72 times per minute. This is important.

Also, before I go any further, let me assure you, that if you believe in all the shit that TILT had to offer, on ESPN, about tells, please, let me know when you are on a 15/30 table at Ameristar, so I can rape you of all your money. Yes, people have tells, but the hype you see on tv is just that....hype. Tombiv has a great tell (for when he is NOT bluffing). Everyone has them. But rest assured, the way you fondle your chips, the way you twitch your nose, shit like that...not a tell. If, for example, someone bets into you and IMMEDIATELY reaches over his shoulder to take a drink of water or whatever, from his table - THAT is a tell (unless he's acting, which you have to figure out from previous play, whether he is capable of acting). He is bluffing.

So, back to Toto and Cooter. I am by NO MEANS a calibur poker player. Everyone knows of THE tell - seeing the carotid artery beating (although people actually think it is the jugular vein...arteries pump blood AWAY from the heart, veins pump TO the heart...not to mention the carotid is superficial to the jugular...again, I digress). Cooter's Carotid was pumping, I kid you not...128 times per minute. I timed it. To THIS ameteur, I KNEW that cooter had AQ. Toto on the other hand, had to think about things. I can understand that, I mean HE is the one with the 1500 dollar buy in. I am just a lowly dealer. But JESUS...Mr Magoo himself could've seen this. Not to mention, after about 5 minutes, Cooter started TALKING to Toto. "Go home broke, or go home curious." He SAID that to Toto. If THAT doesn't chime of 'please please please fold" I dunno what does. Still the same, Toto thought about it. FINALLY he calls. His JJ hold up to Cooter's AQ os. Not only was I ecstatic to see Cooter go down (he was eventually out altogether about 20 minutes later), I was overwhelmed with my call of AQ :) Kudos to Toto, but geesh..the call wasn't THAT hard...bahahahaha.

Evelyn Ng

2005-06-14T22:35:00.000-07:00

For all of you who watch poker on TV, and tend to 'caulk your stomach' whenever you see the HOTNESS that is Evelyn Ng on tv, let me just say....TV does this phenom NO JUSTICE WHATSOEVER! You remember that diamond I coulda shit out, in the EC saved the lives story? Well, I coulda sliced that muffuk'r up with my walking erection like a Ginsu knife takes to hot butter. MY GAWD! I was on break today, just kinda walking around, when I saw her going in the same direction I was going, but about 20 feet ahead of me. So I speed up and stalk....errr followed her for a little bit. In all reality, I was hoping she'd turn around, see me, and ask me out, right then and there, but it was not to be. She's a skinny thing...much more than I'd've ever thought. The waistline of her Louis Vuitton Jeans wouldn't be big enough for my leg...and normally that kinda 'cocaine-chic' look doesn't do it for me. But I am not adverse to changing my views. This girl's a total knockout. Rumor has it she is a cool person as well...but hellifiknow....there is no way in hell this little hick boy from Hayseed, Ks. could ever talk to someone like her.

Eskimo Clark saved the lives of 4 people yesterday

2005-06-14T21:41:00.000-07:00

Let's set the scene. It's my first table of the day, my fourth day in a row getting fucked in the ass with an 18" chainsaw, at that. No tournament downs (that's where the real money is), and not even getting to deal until an hour and a half into my shift. In summary...the start of my 4th day of losing money. But I digress.....

The game is Padooky, or Padookie, or Thisgamesucksdookey, or whatever the fuck you wanna call it. Basically, its 4 card, triple draw, low ball, where suits matter. The best hand is A,2,3,4, with one of each suit. If you have K,Q,J,T all four suits, you beat A,2,3,4, with one suit counterfeited. It's the geighest game in the planet. Until this stint in degenerate alley, I've never heard of the game, obviously never played the game, and certainly never DEALT the game.

So, back to the start of day 4 of the lumbarjack games being played in my anal cavity. Needless to say, my mood is not the best. I get stuck on this game...sight unseen. No biggie...I am a gamer, I can figure it out. Here's the catch...this game is not for $.50/$1.00 or anything of the sort. It is $400/$800!! Not really a good time to learn how to RUN a game from scratch. One fuck up, leading to a possible misdeal, could mean, literally, 10s of THOUSANDS.

I sit down in the box. If I had eaten a lump of coal the night before, I would easily have shit out a diamond that would make that blue piece of shit from Titanic look like a brown M&M that had been sitting on the dashboard of a car in the Gobi Desert. Thank GOD for Eskimo Clark. For starters, let me just say this: If you have formed some opinion on EC based on what you seen on TV, and it is negative, you are DEAD wrong. My personal thoughts on the guy were ambivolent, but I can assure you - that guy is one of the nicest poker players there is. He could sense my fear like a rabid dog senses the mailman. He took control of the game for the first couple of hands, while I figured out wtf I was doing. But don't kid yourself...high limit players are cocksuckers. The rest of the table was ruthless. Some asian d00d, who needed my foot in his ass *now known as SADWNMFIHA, and probably the brother of SADWMMTB* was on my ASS. There were three other pricks at the table as well, but they calmed down....eventually. If it wasn't for EC, and his taking control of the table, and basically putting the other donkey fuckers in their place, I am quite sure I would have an arraignment scheduled for 4 counts of Murder in the 2nd degree sometime next month. At one point, I was about 3.4 seconds away from grabbing SADWNMFIHA by the throat *he was conveniently sitting in seat 1* and strangling him into submission. Had I succeeded in that - well, I would've succeeded had I gone through with it, but you know what I mean - I would've just picked off the other three in principal. So again, EC saved the lives of 4 people the other day....5 if you include me NOT getting 50,000 volts of prime Las Vegas 'tricity coursing thru my body. I made 10 whole dollars that down (a down is 30 minute session on a table, for those of you who don't know) Getting 10 dollars a down, as a poker dealer, is like expecting Jenna Jameson to give you head, but getting Cowboy Kenna James instead.

Needless to say, Padooky become an instant hatred of mine (although, ironically enough, it seems like a pretty cool game to play).

Fast forward to the next day. Guess who, after waiting for another HOUR to get an assignment, gets to start off on $400/$800 padooky again? Yep, yours truly. Thankfully, this particular table was FUN. EC was there again, John Juanda was to my immediate left, and a SHITLOAD of money was on the table. I am talking about 10s of 1000s of dollars per person. I got my mandatory Kenna James felatio on the first hand, of course. But, after about 4 or 5 hands...fireworks erupted. A pot that would pay for my entire undergrad education at Kansas State University, was pushed to some asian d00d who never got off the phone *now known as MY FAVORITE PADOOKY PLAYER EVER, or MFPPE for short. I pushed him a 5 digit pot and he tosses me a greenbird *$25 chip* and says..."That's for you!" I was looking for the EMT's to come running over with their portable paddles, charge to 300 and yell "CLEAR". Gawd bless MFPPE.

I am now unclear as to what I think about this game........

Short but Funny story..

2005-06-11T23:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, so the other day, after work, I go out. And I mean...I GO OUT! Next thing I know, it's 10 am and I have to be to work in an hour. Sweet...up all night, now I have to deal poker for another 8 hours. No prob..I am a trooper. An hour into it...I am soooooo fucking tired that I am doing the head bob IN THE BOX, while dealing. At one point, I fell asleep WHILE shuffling the cards for the next hand. That's not the end of it...when I woke up (probably only 2 or 3 seconds later, I noticed I was shuffling the cards FACE UP! BAHAAHAAHAAAHAAA! All of the players kinda chuckled...luckily. I didn't have any pricks on my table AT THAT particular time...whew. One semi hot chick even asked me "so how late did YOU stay out last night?" I simply chose not to answer her That was a loooooooooooong day for me!

WSOP general ramblings

2005-06-11T23:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, So I have now dealt to a LOT of famous poker names, and even a famous actor (James Woods). I have my personal feelings on players that we see on tv all the time, and those feelings are pretty much just 'gut feelings' as I don't know these people from Adam. I either think they are dicks, or think they are cool. So far though, my gut is pretty gotdang good at what it thinks! James Woods is a cool fucker! He can't play cards for shit, but he is cool - I think we all knew that, tho. Greg Raymer is one that I had wrong. I thought he'd be a pompous prick...just another fat ass, lucky ass, poker player who would never be seen again doing anything good (as far as playing poker goes), a la, cough, Chris (I suck donkey balls) Moneymaker. More wrong I could not be. He is actually a pretty damn good player. He is placing in a lot of the tourneys! Moreover than that though, he is an overall good Joe! He talks to ANYONE that wants to talk to him, and even if he is faking it, he puts on a good show and seems genuinely interested. As a dealer, we're not really s'posed to be seen or heard, but I happen to run across GR in the hallway early one morning, noone was with him or hounding him, and I decided to sack up and approach him. I have a buddy that plays on UB, and there is a group of people from the missouri tigerboard that have a invite only sunday tourney..blah blah blah. Well, alledgedly, GR's brother (who lives in KC, again alledgedly) plays with that UB/MUtigerboard group. I puckered up my ass and approaced GR for confirmation. Sure enough, it's all true. That is irrelevant to the story, I know. The point is, GR was a good d00d. I only talked to him for about a minute total, and at one point, I basically APOLOGIZED for even bugging him. I said something to the fact of "I am just a putz from KC, and was nervous to even approach you/bother you". He said, "You shouldn't be afraid to approach me, I am very approachable, and I highly doubt you are a putz (then kinda giggled). It was very humbling, yet it was a great answer. Although I was just calling myself a putz as a form of levity, he treated my with as much respect as anyone should. Thumbs up to GR! All around good Joe. Ted Forrest - dick. Cindy Violette - bitch. Chris Caragoulian (or however the fuck it's spelled - ASSHOLE SUPREME. Daniel Negreanu - no opinions yet...dealt to him about 3 times...he's just like you see on TV - form your own opinion. I doubled him up twice in 5 hands (both courtesy of Chou Xiang (sp)) He didn't seem to even know I existed when I dealt to him the next day (Personally, I'd be like "hey...I like this dealer, he doubles me up) Oh well, he's still just DN to me, nothing bad with that. Speakingo f Chou Xiang - dick *but I say that with a grain of salt, as I did bad beat him twice in 4 hands) Fuck 'em. Antonio Esfandiari (sp), I thought he would be kinda a dick, but seems I am wrong on that one. I haven't dealt to him yet, but I saw a hand today in the 50/100 NL game. AE, Phil H, that D'agastino kid, and 6 other no namers were playing. Some asian d00d with more money than brains *now known as - sadwmmtb* raises pf to 1200. AE asks "how much you got", sadwmmtb says "about 9000. AE reraises to 10K. Just hearing that made MY ass pucker. Sadwmmtb dwells up for what seemed like an hour, and finally calls. What a dipshit. AE can have only ONE of TWO hands. Either AA or KK. Sadwmmtb flips over JJ and AE keeps his cards down until the river. In tourney play, both players HAVE to show cards b4 showdown, but not in live action. Anyhow.....5 blanks later, AE and his KK is 10K richer. He threw the dealer a greenbird ($25) chip for a tip. Pretty cool, really. Most of the big name players DON'T tip. They play this for a living. 25 bucks for a 10K pot may SEEM shitty, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not. Cindy Violette tipped me 2 bucks on a 4000 hand once...I about fell out of my chair and asked for someone to bring the paddles to start my heart back up. Lots of other players to talk about, too many to think of. If you have anyone you wanna know about - just ask. I may have a story about 'em

Coming soon, the great Doc33's blog, live from the WSOP

2005-06-11T22:40:00.000-07:00

I assure you.

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